Helping Kids Get a Good Night Sleep

The changing seasons and daylight savings often lead to sleep difficulties for kids and families. Each day the sun sets later in the evening and many kids would rather stay up later. Children who do not get enough restful sleep are at risk for increased emotional outbursts, distractibility, and falling asleep at school. Many children have difficulty waking in the morning and sometimes an extra hour of sleep can help. The Sleep Foundation recommends children ages 3-5 get 10 to 13 hours of sleep, ages 6-13 get 9 to 11 hours, and ages 14-17 get 8 to 10 hours. These ranges can vary slightly but a good rule of thumb is “How much sleep does it take to wake rested?” It’s a good time to review healthy sleep habits.

The following tips will help children get a good night sleep:

-Exercise 60 minutes per day. Often recess and physical education at school are not enough.

-Develop a bedtime routine. Having the same bedtime each night can help get on a rhythm for sleep and wake cycles.

-Turn off electronics 30 minutes before bedtime. The light produced by a television, computer, and/or cell phone activate the brain into thinking its daylight. Turning off electronics and engaging in relaxing activities can get the mind ready for rest.

-Calming activities before bed like reading a story, taking a bath, using either of the relaxation examples below, and listening to soft music can help the body relax.

-Essential oils such as Gentle Baby and Lavender can be used to promote rest.

-Reduce or avoid caffeine in the afternoon. Caffeine can stay in the system for 4 to 6 hours. Even pop with dinner can keep them awake at bedtime.

-Warm liquids such as tea or milk can also encourage calmness. Avoid this tip if your child struggles with nighttime bed wetting.

Practice tensing and relaxing muscle groups to promote calmness.

Take a deep breath in. Squeeze your hands into fists while holding your breath for 3 seconds. Relax your hands and exhale. Repeat three times. Then say to yourself, “My hands are relaxed”.

Take a deep breath. Raise your arms over your head while holding your breath for 3 seconds. Release your arm back down. Repeat three times. Say to yourself, “My arms are relaxed.”

Take a deep breath in. Squeeze your shoulders up to your ears while holding your breath for 3 seconds. Relax your shoulders and exhale. Repeat three times and say to yourself “My shoulders are relaxed”.

Take a deep breath in. Tighten the muscles of your belly. Hold your breath for 3 seconds. Relax your belly and exhale. Repeat three times. Then say to yourself “My belly is relaxed”.

Take a deep breath in. Tense the muscles of your legs and bottom while holding your breath for 3 seconds. Release your legs and exhale. Repeat three times. Then say to yourself “My legs are relaxed”.

Take a deep breath in. Squeeze and curl your toes and hold your breath for 3 seconds. Relax your feet and exhale. Repeat three times. Then say to yourself “My feet are relaxed”.

Take a deep breath in. Squeeze all the muscles of your body while holding your breath for 3 seconds. Relax your body and exhale. Repeat three times. Then say to yourself “My body is relaxed”.

Use imagery like this to foster relaxation.

Lie down or find a comfortable place to sit. Breathe in deeply and out even more slowly. Close your eyes. Imagine you are floating on a soft fluffy cloud. You feel very safe on the cloud as it softly cradles your body. Your whole body feels heavy resting on the cloud. Notice your feet. Your feet feel very relaxed. Your feet feel so heavy that it would be hard to lift them even if you tried. Notice your legs. Your legs feel very loose and comfortable nestled into the cloud. There is a nice warm feeling traveling up your body, filling it with peace. Notice your stomach. It feels calm and filled with warmth. Be aware of your chest. Your chest is relaxed as it moved up and down slowly with each breath. Next notice your neck and shoulders. They feel soft and heavy. Feel the backs of your shoulders resting on the cloud, sinking in gently. Feel how relaxed your head is right now. Your head feels warm, pleasant, and heavy. Your head and face are very relaxed. Your mouth and eyes are free from stress. Allow your thoughts to come and go without worrying about anything. Everything is okay and you are feeling very calm and good. Enjoy the warm sensation calming you as it travels all around your body filling you with peace and relaxation.

If you continue to have concerns with your child’s sleep you can always contact your pediatrician or a mental health therapist.

Mindful Eating

Often when we eat, we are not fully present, which can lead to unhealthy eating habits. A different approach is eating mindfully. Mindfulness is a kind, objective awareness, not a blank mind, not evaluating or judging, simply being fully present and aware of what is going on inside and outside of us. Mindfulness allows us to re-wire our brains in a way that increases attention and decreases depression and anxiety.

Mindfulness can be challenging because it is a unique way of being. Practicing mindfulness with coaching (either live or pre-recorded) can help with learning this skill. People who have experienced traumatic events sometimes have difficulty with mindfulness because it can allow memories of traumatic events to resurface. Having a specific thing to focus on can help prevent this from happening. If at any point during mindfulness you feel distress, it is appropriate to stop and practice coping skills to deal with the distress. Mindfulness is not meant to be unpleasant, distressing, or something forced. Mindfulness also becomes more natural with practice.

Mindful eating is being conscious of what we eat and why. Sometimes we eat because of hunger other times as a source of comfort, out of habit or expectation, or other needs that are better met by something other than food. When we eat mindfully we increase our ability to give our bodies the fuel they need to run well. We also are better able to identify our real needs so we can meet them in healthy ways.

A Body Scan is a tool to help us be aware of what our bodies need. A Body Scan can last anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour, depending on how much time we want to take or the level of depth we prefer. To do a body scan, sit or lay comfortably and close your eyes if it feels okay to do so. Notice your breath. You don’t need to change it, just observe the sensations as you breathe in and out. Focus your attention on your toes. What do you feel in your toes and outside of your toes? Perhaps you notice the pressure of your socks or shoes. Focus your attention on your feet. Notice the sensations in and around your feet. Just bring a kind curiosity to the sensations. Focus your attention on your lower legs. Perhaps you notice some tension in your calf muscles. Focus your attention on your upper legs. When you feel your mind wander, gently bring your attention back to your body. Focus your attention on your hip area and abdomen. Do not judge, just be kind and curious about what you are sensing. Focus your attention on your chest and shoulders. Notice the movement in your body as you breathe. Focus your attention on your arms. Simply notice the sensations as you become aware of them. Focus your attention on your hands. Notice if you feel any discomfort, but now is not the time to fix it—just notice it. Focus your attention on your face and head. Notice what you can feel throughout your neck, throat, mouth, nose, eyes, face, and scalp. Now expand your awareness to your full body. Let sensations come into awareness and accept them. Focus your attention on your breath for three more breathes. Do not change it, just notice the sensations. When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes, wiggle your fingers and toes, and bring your attention back to your surroundings.

Watching Our Thoughts, Feelings, Physical Sensations, and Urges is a tool to help us be aware of what our minds need. Again, this is something that can be a brief practice or a longer one depending on the time available or the length of time it takes to reach the desired state of objective, kind awareness. To practice Watching, sit comfortably and notice your thoughts. Do not evaluate them or try to change them. Just notice what is there. See if you can imagine your thoughts coming and going, like clouds floating across the sky. Notice your emotions. Try to give them names. Emotions are not good or bad, they are merely messengers letting us know that something is going on that needs a response. Now is not the time to change them. Simply accept them or even welcome them into your awareness. Emotions can tell us what we need but are not getting. Notice any physical sensations. Do not try to give them meaning, just describe them objectively, with a kind curiosity. Notice any behavioral urges or desires to take a particular action. Do not judge the urge, it is only an impulse. Just be aware of the urge and watch the intensity rise and fall.

Being aware of our needs can help us identify what will truly meet those needs so that we can soothe ourselves without food. There are lots of ways we can help ourselves feel better, but food often is used when there are other options that might better meet those needs or might meet those needs without feeling guilt about overindulging in food. For example, food can be a source of pleasure. Research suggests that we get the most pleasure out of the first three bites of a food. We can ask ourselves how that finding applies to our eating habits. Perhaps when we want to eat a food that is enjoyable but not high in nutritional value we will choose to savor a few bites rather than eating more and feeling guilty about it afterward.

Food can be a source of comfort. Food can bring back memories and the emotions associated with them. If we reflect on memories and emotions are linked to our favorite foods we may be able to identify other ways to enjoy those memories. For example, reminiscing, looking at photos, talking about the memories, participating in non-food traditions, or talking with people who are part of those memories might be a way to enjoy the memories without the food.

Food can be used to change moods. Some foods may boost levels of feel-good chemicals in the brain. However, some foods result only in temporary good feeling as opposed to highly nutritious foods that can improve mood over the long term. We can use other activities to change our moods such as hobbies, exercise, or socializing. Creating a list of pleasurable activities and posting it somewhere prominent or carrying it with us can be a great reminder to use these activities when we experience unpleasant emotions.

Practicing a mindfulness technique, such as the ones above, before eating can help us identify what is behind the desire to eat. It might be hunger, but it also might be thirst, fatigue, boredom, anxiety, depression, or another unpleasant mood. If you are feeling a physical or emotional discomfort, address that first and then look again to see if you are still feeling a desire to eat. If you are not experiencing hunger, consider distracting yourself with a pleasant activity or socializing. Another option is to soothe yourself with your senses—look at photos that make you happy or beautiful scenery, smell some flowers or essential oils, listen to music you enjoy, wear comfortable clothes, give yourself a brief massage, or whatever else appeals to your senses.

Regularly practicing taking one mindful bite can begin to change our experience of food. When we eat mindfully we fully experience food, sometimes noticing features of the food we otherwise missed. We also are less likely to overindulge because we are being aware of the signals from our bodies. To practice taking a mindful bite, observe the food in detail with all your senses. What do you see, hear, feel, and smell before you even put it in your mouth? What thoughts, emotions, sensations, or urges do you notice? Take one bite, but do not chew yet. What do you taste? How do your sensations and urges change as you put the food in your mouth? Chew once. How does this sound and feel? How does it change the taste and smell? What new thoughts, emotions, sensations, and urges arise? Slowly chew the bite. Notice the movement of your tongue, jaws, and mouth. Notice the urge to swallow. When you swallow see if you can feel the food as it goes down your throat to your stomach. What new experiences or insight did taking a bite of food this way introduce? Can you bring this kind of awareness to eating another bite? How does the experience change with each bite?

Taken together, these practices can change our thoughts, emotions, and habits relating to food so we can make choices that foster long-term wellbeing. Mindfulness and healthy food choices are lifetime practice that can continue to be broadened and deepened. Here are some more resources to continue to develop healthy habits.

  • 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food by Susan Albers
  • The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs by Stephen S. Ilardi
  • The Emotional Eater’s Repair Manual: A Practical Mind-Body-Spirit Guide for Putting an End to Overeating and Dieting by Julie M. Simon
  • Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition): Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • Palouse Mindfulness: Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Online Course

Healthy Sleep Habits

Tossing and turning. Cannot fall asleep after laying down. Frequent waking. Stress and worries on the mind. Early waking.

These kinds of sleep difficulties can greatly impact an individual’s sleep quality which can lead to issues with one’s mood, ability to function the next day, and ability to concentrate. Sleep is important to your mental health, physical health, and safety. So how can you improve your sleep quality?

Establish a bedtime

Having an established bedtime is important to ensure that you are getting enough sleep (infants: 12-15 hours per day; toddlers: 11-14 hours per day; pre-school children: 10-13 hours per day; school-age children: 9-11 hours per day; most adults: 7-9 hours per day, although some may need as few as 6 hours or as many as 10 hours per day). This helps to regulate your body’s “internal clock.”

Be consistent

Once you have established a bedtime, stick to it! Even on weekends. Go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time each morning.

Create a healthy sleep environment

Make sure the bedroom is quiet, dark, and relaxing. Also, make sure the environment is not too warm and not too cold.

Limit bedroom activities

The bedroom should only be used for sleep and sex. Other activities, such as eating, studying, working, and watching television should not be done in the bedroom. Also, remove all electronics, such as televisions and computers.

Create a soothing pre-sleep routine

Your body needs time to shift from your daily activities into sleep mode. Spend approximately one hour before bed doing a calming activity, such as reading, taking a bath, or practicing relaxation exercises. Creating a pre-bedtime routine will ease the transition from wake to sleep. Avoid stressful activities, such as work and discussing emotional issues. If your mind will not quiet and continues to race about your worries, try writing down the problems on your mind and then put them aside before laying down.

Sleep comfortably

It is important that one feels comfortable when sleeping. Make sure the mattress and pillows are comfortable and supportive.

Lay down to sleep when truly tired

Lying awake when you are not able to fall asleep can be stressful. Instead, get out of bed and go to another room. Engage in a relaxing, quiet activity (such as reading or listening to calming music). Keep the lights dim. When you begin to feel tired return to bed to fall asleep. Similarly, if you wake during the night and are unable to fall asleep within 20 minutes. Get out of bed and out of the bedroom to engage in a relaxing activity. Return to bed when tired.

Be cautious of napping

For some people, napping is a regular routine in their day. Napping may be problematic though if you notice issues falling asleep or staying asleep during the night. It is better to keep naps short and earlier in the day. Late day napping can impact your body’s “internal clock.”

Eat light evening meals

Eat dinner several hours before bedtime. If needed, eat a light snack before bed if you are hungry.


Exercise can help you fall asleep and stay asleep, if it is not too close to your bedtime. Try to finish exercising at least three hours before bed. Exercise stimulates the body which helps activate your brain to be alert. This is great, except when you are trying to fall asleep.

Avoid electronic devices

Turn off electronic devices at least 30 minutes before bedtime. Electronic devices emit a light that promotes wakefulness. Additionally, engaging in an activity on an electronic device increases brain activity which is the opposite of what should be happening before sleep.

Avoid chemicals that interfere with sleep

Caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and other chemicals significantly impact sleep. Avoid caffeine and nicotine for four to six hours before bedtime. Alcohol may help one to fall asleep but it will increase the number of awakenings a few hours after one falls asleep. Limiting alcohol consumption to one to two drinks per day, or less, and to avoid drinking within three hours of bedtime can help to improve one’s quality of sleep.

If the above tips do not help to improve your sleep quality, do not hesitate to seek professional advice. There may be other explanations, such as a sleep disorder, that is impacting your ability to get quality sleep. A professional can help to identify the proper diagnosis and treatment to help improve one’s sleep quality.